Another year wiser

I can't believe how much my life has changed. And how much more peace and comfort I feel compared to how much distress and loneliness I felt last year. I'm not gonna lie, this last year has been one of the most challenging, but rewarding, years of my life. I have made some huge changes and some long strides to doing better. Heavenly Father has truely blessed me! I just wanted to take a minute to look back at the year by the months just to reflect and see what I changed and what I can do better on... SO here goes.

January 2008

I was living in Logan, UT with some roommates that I truely disliked. I was working at The Optical Shoppe, not too happy with where the job was going, and fighting with my boss and my manager about making some changes. I was dating Loral and looking forward to planning my wedding which at the time I thought was going to be December 18 2008. We still fought a lot but I believed that we could eventually work it out. I wasn't going to church, I hadn't been for over a year. I was struggling with self esteem and depression and really not happy with where my life was at.

February 2008

The bottom dropped out. Loral and I broke up on the same day that Pres. Hinckley died. I had gone to my sister's house in Eagle mountain becuase Loral and I had a huge fight and I couldn't stay in Logan any longer. I prayed for the first time in a really long time for the Lord to help me decide what would be best for me. I went to Park City with my other sister Shalece, and met some amazing people. I knew that this could be what I needed to get back into the church and to turn my life around. And I knew that I wasn't happy with Loral, and I knew that he wasn't happy with me anymore either. So we decided that we were going to break up. Well it was hard seeing him and living 2 doors down from him for about a week, and we eventually came back together and had one last hoorah the night before I moved. I knew I had to move because we had tried breaking up before but we couldn't seem to stay away from each other. And I knew that I had to change and that I wanted to be different and that I wanted to be treated better. So I did what I thought would be best for both of us, by letting him have Logan so that he could get his life back together as well. I found a job that was perfect. They needed me right away and I needed to move ASAP. I would be making 2 dollars more. I know that the Lord had his hand in that one because it seriously all just feel together. I knew then that he really needed me to be down here and that he truely had heard my prayer. So I moved to Eagle Mountain. And I think it was the best decision that I have made!

March 2008

March was really hard for me. I was new to this single thing and I didn't know what to do with myself. I was starting to go back to church and making some huge changes in my life. I had to rely on the Lord very heavily for support. I missed Loral intensly and it was hard because he told me that he could no longer talk to me. I struggled but I knew that I would have to respect that decision. And now looking back, I am so glad becuase it helped me to move on faster. I went on my first date after breaking up with Loral. It was with a guy named Jesse Hamilton. He was the sweetest guy ever! I met him at church and our ward went to Delta for Easter. It was fun because I got to know my ward a lot better and I also got to know Jesse better. So that sunday after we talked about going dancing in SLC. So we went later that week and it was one of the best dates I have been on. We talked so easily and I really really liked him! It was great getting to know him and being able to see that there are other guys in this world that could make me happy. Also in March I got my Patriarchal Blessing! I had been wanting to get it for a while I just wasn't ready. It was so amazing to know that the Lord knows me by name and has counsil for me!

April 2008

My best friend Bri got married to her sweetie pie on the 4th and I was able to take some pictures! I decided what i want to be when I grow up.... A WEDDING PHOTOGRAPHER!!! I turned 21!!! WOOT WOOT! It was such a fun day. It started out really bad becuase I just got a letter from Loral and it was one sentence. It said hope you have a great birthday~Loral. I was depressed cause I actually called him on his birthday to make sure that he was doing okay and I couldn't not call him because I care. But then he called me while I was at work and asked me if he could come take me to lunch. So he drove all the way down here to take me to lunch for my brthday and I was so glad! I needed that. It was hard to say goodbye again and I struggled with missing him all over again, but I knew that he still cared about me and that he missed me too. Which helped. Then later that night a bunch of my friends from the ward came and we went to PF Changs. My favorite restaurant. :) it was delicious. Except I got a horrible stomach ache and spent the rest of the night in the lil girls room. "The battle of Charlotter" if you know me, you will most likely understand that one. Our ward in Lehi split and I was devistated. I finally had felt like I was making friends and I love love LOVED our bishopbric. And to make matters worse I finally heard from Jesse again... He told me that he met someone in Wyoming and that they were talking about getting married in May. This was 3 weeks after our amazing first date. I bawled cause I was already having a horrible day. GRR boys. LOL. But that's okay he was 31 and he was wanting a family and I guess that she was about that age and had 4 kids. She was widowed and it worked out well for him.

May 2008

May was an interesting month. Trying to get used to the new ward and our new bishopbric was a challenge and I got a calling to be the FHE chair for the north group. I met a guy named Jimmy at a stake activity and we hit it off pretty well. I helped him move the night we met and the next night was sunday. He invited me to dinner at his new place, and then we went to ward prayer with his ward where several people asked us how long we had been dating. Which we werent. And they all told us that we looked like we were "so in love"... LOL!! He came with me to my family reunion a week after we met. And this is where I knew I didn't want to date him. He was kinda pushy and rude and I didn't want to be in another bad relationship. So I gave him the FO(fade out).

June 2008

June was great. I just hung out with friends and had a good time. I started getting used to my new ward and started to really love our new bishopbric. Our bishop turned out to be exactly what I needed to move past certain things in my life and I will forever be grateful for him. And all of the bishopbrics wifes are fantastic as well. Nothin too standout-ish happened in June.

July2008

I went to Logan to see Loral on the 3rd. The day before what would have been our 2 year anniversary. I still struggled with missing him, but he seemed to be doing just fine without me. The 4th went suprising well considering the fact that I was still missing Loral. In fact all day I didn't really even think about him. I went to the parade in Provo with my family and then we went swimming. We came home and slept and just had some fun. Other than missing Loral, July went by pretty well.

August 2008

Well my sisters, my mom and I were supposed to be going to Tennessee to see Suzy and her family because they moved there in April, but then they decided to move back to Utah. So Shalece and I already had our plane tickets. So we did what 2 single girls should do. We decided to go on a cruise in September. :) I met this guy JB a while back and we became friends. But I realized that I liked him this month. But he was dating another girl from our ward and I hadnt talked to him for a while. It was really hard. Still missed Loral a lot. But I loved my ward and my friends are amazing!

September 2008

Shalece and I went on a Royal Caribbean cruise to the Bahamas. We left from florida and we had the best time! I love the Bahamas and I plan to go back and stay at the Atlantis Resort on Paradise Island. Which really was paradise to me! I think this trip was the highlight of my whole year! And it was exactly what I needed. It was nice to have some time to just think. And this is when I realized again that Loral and I aren't supposed to be together at this time. The Lord truely blesses me!!! I went to Lagoon with my family and it was really fun just spending time with them. And JB finally called me!!

October 2008

I spent a lot of time with JB and some other friends from the ward. But I really started to fall for him. He took Shalece and I shooting on Halloween and that was a blast, Then Bri and Schyler came over and we played games and chilled at JB's. Other than that not much really happened.

November 2008

November FLEW by. I struggled with my calling alot because no one ever helps me and it was like I was planning a ward activity every monday. But I managed. I went up to my mom's house in Idaho for Thanksgiving and that was a lot of fun spending time with them. Twilight the movie came out and I LOVED IT! Saw it twice! Other than that just kept truckin!

December 2008

My feelings for JB started to get more intense and I didn't know how to talk to him about it and then he said a few things that really hurt my feelings. So I stopped talking to him. Yet another dissapointment in the freindship category and relationship category of my life. But I am kinda okay about it. I don't think that it would've worked out anyway. My oldest sister Seleste got married to Jayson Cherry in the SL temple. It was a beautiful day! And I got to do all of their pictures so that makes me extatic! They turned out really well. Christmas was pretty uneventful. Had a party at Selsestes with my mom. Christmas Eve Shalece and I went to Layton to my dad & step moms house. We opened presents that night and then we just slept in on christmas and vegged out. It was super. For New Years I got some time off which was nice! I just chilled and helped Shalece move. I am sad that she had to move but I know the feeling. And I think it will be good for both of us. It's not like she is that far away. :) New Years Eve was a blast. I went to a friends house and played rockband and some other games and then watched music and lyrics. Got home at about 4 in the AM and i was exhausted!



So over all 2008 has brought a lot of change, But it has been a really great year!! I can't wait to see what 2009 brings!